ORIGINAL BLISS

Only 8 to Create!

My last day for art before heading back to work.

I actually have a few more days before it's back to the grind, but those are all packed FULL with busy-ness, packing... moving... cleaning... family stuff...

So today was the last of it - for a WHOLE WEEK!!!!

Oh MY GOD!!!!! What am I going to do!!!!!!

All that creativity locked up inside with nowhere to go is bad for the ticker, you know...

I don't know if I'll make it...

I may have to be sneaky...

maybe I can find 8 creative minutes a day for a quick fix.

I'll call it the "Only 8 to Create!" Week at Original Bliss!

Let's see how I do!

Namaste,

C H E Z

Where Thou Art, That is Home

Where is home?

It is a question I have been contemplating - and agonizing over - for months... with the threat of losing ours hanging precariously over our heads.

We have several things working against us in our effort to keep our home.

Jeff has been unemployed since he was laid off last June.

The value of our home sunk faster than the Titanic - 62% to be exact!

We live in a beautiful neighborhood filled with empty houses, so it is unlikely declining home values will reverse anytime soon.

We have 4 kids and an ex-wife to feed and support.

I recently took a pay cut at my job.

We initiated contact with our bank last May, when we first knew Jeff's job was on the chopping block. We wanted to prevent all this and renegotiate the terms of our mortgage.

But the bank is unwilling to negotiate.

They are more than willing to call - EVERY OTHER DAY at 8 am - including Sundays and holidays, (6 times yesterday!)

but these are not problem solving conversations.

They want their money - ALL of it. RIGHT NOW. 

During one conversation it was suggested that if we couldn't make our full mortgage than maybe our daughter shouldn't be in college right now. I told the nice lady that my daughter needed a college education so she could get a job at Starbucks someday and maybe feed herself.

One man said, "So you intended to just have your house foreclosed on?"

I said, "No. I intended to sit on my porch with my husband, both old and gray, one hand filled with his, the other with a nice glass of wine, while we watched the rain or the birds in the birdbath, or the grandkids playing in the yard."

I understand the situation. I feel really bad about it. It is heartbreaking and frustrating.

I understand them wanting full payments and calling to get it.

I do not understand why they mislead us and outright lie. Why they threaten, they scold and they judge.

When did we place our BANKS in the position of God - where they judge our morality and worth based on FICO scores?

Who are they to judge me?

I don't even allow the CHURCH that right, I'll be damned if a bank is going to condemn me!

So I sit pondering limited options. Feeling insecure and unsettled and sad.

Where is home?

A young man showed up at our dwelling - his parents kicked him out of his home because of grades. I tell him, you have shelter as long as we do.

Where is home?

I look at photographs of a shattered Haiti and all the wandering souls of the rubble. 

Where is home?

I sit by a fire with 5 kids and a devoted husband, playing RockBand, all of us singing "Don't Stop Believing" at the top of our lungs.

Where is home?

If I could surround the world in a big gold bubble, and fill it with nourishment and protection and love for everyone, I would.

I do.

I hope it works.

Namaste,

C H E Z

Oooo-La-La and Va-Va-Vroom!

So much inspiration and energy, yet only a week left of vacation!!!

I am working on my next issue of "Dreaming on the Page"! (that will include 10 more journal page prompts and directions, plus collage sheets, btw)

I have more art I want to do!

I am moving my eldest into her own apartment closer to campus!

I am taking the family to see the musical my middle daughter has volunteered 100 hours in assistance to!

I have an event to orchestrate!

I have guests!

I have to clean house!

ALL before going back to work.... hmmmmmmmm

Think I'll get any sleep?

mmmm... probably not.

Namaste,

C H E Z

Open the Windows to the Soul

 

I have a whole day of quiet to do projects and PLAY!!!!

BUT all I want to do is crawl back into bed and go back to sleep.

How can this be?

How can I have so much desire and intention and coffee in me and still feel like going unconscious?

I would like to think that I am just tired... or I didn't sleep well last night after watching Paranormal Activity (oooo so scary)... or that the barometric pressure is falling, making me sleepy... or that it is cold and foggy and hubby is still snuggled up under warm, clean linens...

But there are times when I want to shut down and there are no excuses.

This is one of those times- A list full of purpose and Shannan wants to check out and let they day go by without her.

Then I think about the show we watched last night: "Brace for Impact: Miracle on the Hudson" on the Discovery Channel.

Listening to the passengers talk about that 3 minutes; the calm... the realization they were about to die... the text messages to loved ones... the seemingly endless wait for impact...

I was most struck by their first thoughts once they realized they were alive.

"I must be here for a reason."

"What am I here to do?"

"I better get to doing it."

It shouldn't take a life-altering miracle to shift our perspective about our lives and what WE are here to do.

If that insight doesn't wake my ass up and get me moving - nothing else will.

I am here for a reason. I better get to doing it.

Namaste,

C H E Z

She Sighs with Satisfaction

I had a long list of projects I wanted to accomplish on my vacation, and a week has gone by and I haven't made the progress that I had hoped.

I started this weaving 6 months ago. It sat on my project table idle. I would weave a line, get bored, and it would sit again for a month. 

I had this idea of what a spectacular piece it was going to be before I started and it wasn't meeting my expectations, so I began to pretend it wasn't there at all. For 3 months!

Today, I sat down and wove away - past the boredom and into a zen, until I FINALLY FINISHED IT!

I was so unhappy with it, I thought it would make a good gift for someone else. But after I nested it in this fabulous frame and placed it on my mantle for it's final "VOILA!", I changed my mind.

It's mine.

I usually end up keeping the pieces I struggle with and hate on. They somehow end up being my favorite. The difficult journey we went on together infuses it with more meaning than my more effortless creations.

Go figure.

Back to the project table to see what else I can wow myself with!

Namaste,

C H E Z

A Wish Upon Stars

I rode in on a wish from the stars,

ready for my turn to dance upon Earth.

Knowing time was precious and love was limited.

Determined to fill one with the other.

 Making my own wishes for more of both.

And having my wishes come true.

A hundred wishes on my heart today,

but just to name a few:

Sunlight and starlight to shine through the rain.

Divine inspiration filling my head.

Paint under my fingernails.

Sparkle.

Laughter.

A still moment and a deep breath.

What do you wish for today?

Wishcasting Wednesday

Namaste,

C H E Z

Only So Many Seasons

 

You know... when you make a deal with the devil, eventually he comes to collect.

Apparently, when you make a deal with the Universe, Source reacts the same way!

I made this little New Year's Evolution pact with the Universe... that this would be the year I live Soul Side Out... thinking and responding to the world from a place of compassion, heart, love and SOUL.

Well, Source wanted to know if I really meant it and provided an opportunity right from the get-go of 2010 for me to put up or shut up.

A friend of my daughter was kicked out of his house this week and was left with very few and very poor options.

It would have been extremely easy for Jeff and I to put our barriers up. We came up with many valid excuses for a limited response. 

But from our Soul's perspective, allowing him to share our home, while it put us outside our comfort zone, was the full-being truth, right thing to do.

I know, it seems crazy to allow someone to share your living space so readily, and I expected my friends and relatives to respond with incredulous disbelief.

But they didn't.

Our willingness to move with our soul - from a heart-centered, compassionate space - created a flow for others to step into. Rather than judge us, or give us the shocked, eyeball bulge, lip-lift look, they asked how they could help. All 4 kids were in agreement to the obvious rightness of our decision.

When the Universe calls us to respond, it usually offers some type of guidance that helps us make our decisions. At the same time I was confronted with this choice, I had a visit with my ex-father-in-law.

If there is any person I can attribute my spiritual attitude adjustment to, it would be Leo. I met him at the height of my fundamental extremist stage. And after spending many hours in heated debate (on my part - loving discussion - on his) - I made some profound shifts in my perspective.

I watched Leo and his wife, Alberta, open their home and heart to EVERYONE. I watched them respond with love, to the unlovable.  And grace... such amazing grace.

Leo and Bert lived as John the Apostle wrote: "Since God so loves us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

The Leo I visited with the other day, is a frail, 89 year old man, who cannot walk without assistance and whose skin tears with it. He may not have many seasons left, but God's love is complete in him.

His ability to live Soul Side Out, planted a seed in me, that gets to bear fruit now. And my ability to live Soul Side Out, plants seeds in others. And in their time, they will bear fruit of the same.

We live in quite a time right now.

Could you imagine the world if everyone responded just once - TODAY - from a soul-centered space?

Could you imagine the seeds planted and the fruit born in the future?

We only have so many seasons...

so get to plantin'!

Sowing the Seeds of Love - Tears For Fears

Namaste,

C H E Z

P.S. Some fun with the family.... getting ready to watch Coraline...

 

Check Yourself Out!

 

One of the New Year's Evolution-ary goals I set myself as part of my Soul Side Out quest for 2010, is to be kinder to my body.

What age is it that we become body conscious? When did we stop being in the flesh - with joy and play - and start seeing our temple with a critical eye?

For me it must have been before the age of 12. I have a scrapbook page with my 7th grade, Charlie Bucket, school photo, taped next to my rejection letter, where I begged Seventeen Magazine to make me over.

 

 

Maybe it began when I was 8 and boys on the schoolyard teased me about not having boobs.

Maybe it was the posters of Farrah Fawcett plastered in every grown mans garage...

Who the hell knows, but body dysmorphic ideas have shadowed my life.

If I were to go through the pages of all my diaries growing up, EVERY ENTRY would have at least one example of body hate. There are many entries that are full with complete loathing.

A day doesn't go by where I don't feel guilty that I didn't exercise or I mind-fuck what I ate!

Quite frankly, I am tired of that crap.

What a huge waste of time, energy and LOVE!

 

So rather than approach the changes I would like to create in regards to my body with stress, regimen, pressure and judgment, I am going to find one simple appreciation - a single cell of gratitude for the vehicle I inhabit every day.

"My eyes are bright and sparkly today."

"My legs felt invigorated as I walked under the stars on this clear New Year's night."

"When I am this size, I have BOOBS! Thank God for BOOBS!"

"I am so completely and utterly beautiful."

I get teary hearing that from myself.

All of creation flourishes under the gaze of love. Maybe with a more loving and cherishing approach my body will naturally find BALANCE in itself.

 

ADDED BLOG BONUS!!!!!!

My daughter Mattea, who recently turned 15, has been challenged by her sister's boyfriend to add poetry to her list of creative outlets. What an amazing revelation she is! Thank you Zack for inspiring and nurturing this out of my daughter.

And there she was.
Head high. Eyes wide. Bathing in luminosity.
Inviting happiness unto others by the exposure of the pearls between her lips.
A girl not even the lifeless could miss.
By the sun, a kiss. One of life. Joy. Happiness.
You can see it in the way she flies.
The wind won't dare to catch her.
Stunned by the diamonds in her eyes
It stands still, captivated by her laughter.
Modesty denied to this goddess.
Flawless.
She never sees the night.
Welcomes everyone to join her flight;
Those who wish to escape the ground.
Then I slowly come back down.
My scars manifesting. My blood spelling "truth."
Perfection beyond recognition.
Yet, too real for imagination.
I say farewell to negativity.
How lucky I am, I'm beginning to see.
She's finding a way to light the world, through me.
What I found impossible, is likely becoming reality.

Namaste,

C H E Z

Happy New Year!

 

Making It Mine!

Wake up everyone
How can you sleep at a time like this?
Unless the dreamer is the real you
Listen to your voice
The one that tells you to taste past the tip of your tongue
Leap and the net will appear

I don't wanna wake before
The dream is over
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes, I... I wanna own it
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes, I'll make it all mine

I keep my life on a heavy rotation
Requesting that it's lifting you up
Up, up and away
And over to a table at the gratitude café

And I am finally there
And all the angels they'll be singing
Ah la la la ah la la la I la la la la love this

Well, I don't wanna break before
the tour is over
I'm gonna make it mine
That's right, I... I wanna own it
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes, I'll make it all mine

Yes I will make it all mine

And timing's everything,
and this time there's plenty
I am balancing,
Careful and steady,
And reveling in energy that everyone's emitting

Well, I don't wanna wait no more
Oh, I wanna celebrate the whole world
I'm gonna make it mine
Because I'm following your joy

I'm gonna make it mine
Because I... I am opened
I'm gonna make it mine
That's right... I wanna show it
I'm gonna make it, it mine
gonna make, gonna make, gonna make, gonna make, gonna make,
make it, make it mine
(I'll make it mine) yes, mine
(I'll make it mine) yes, mine
(I'll make it mine) oooh mine
Yes, I will make it all, make it all mine

Yes, I will make it all

Make It Mine - Jason Mraz

New Year's Evolution

 

With my Burning Bowl complete, I turn my attention to the things, ideas, situations, and energies that I want to manifest in the next year.

This year is different, rather than a list full of events and things, my list is about evolving my perception and shifting my perspective.

MY LIST:

 

"Where thought goes - energy flows."

OPEN - I want to remind myself daily to keep my heart open and follow its intuition. 

CONNECT - Connections with people that are deeper, fulfilling.

CENTER Every Day - 10 minutes - an hour if I have it. Time for centering and remembering so that my intentions and actions come from my authenticity.

EMBRACE Living Things - Spending time in nature. Choosing living food to put in my body. More hugs for my family.

MOVE My Body - Feel and fill the cells of my vessel.

CREATE - This is where my bliss is. I've learned how to incorporate my unlimited creativity into my life every day. I validate that accomplishment, am grateful for all that it has given me this year and set the intention for it to continue.

BIG ONE! Reframe or Release - I especially want to remember in moments of judgment and frustration. Press PAUSE. I am not Pollyanna... I cannot always transmute the negativity and chaos that crosses my path into something bright and cheerful and positive. I want more times where I can Reframe situations.

But I am not going to distract myself by the effort...  I think that trying to convert everything we label as negative into a positive is still a way of being engaged with the negative. That distracts me from my center. A problem to solve that really isn't mine to solve at all.

If I cannot easily reframe it - it's gone. Released. Move on.

I feel I will do more to "healing" a situation without getting my energy and effort all mixed up in the batter.

THEME OF THE YEAR:

I am living "SOUL SIDE OUT"

Us soulful beings have been wandering the planet, with our light shining deep inside of us, protecting it in our shell, bringing it out into the open only when it is save for others to see.

We have to turn ourselves inside out - and live full and bright - Soul Side Out.

It always made me feel vulnerable - this idea. Past experience has taught me that energy "whackings" hit you hard in your soul-first moments. Puts the soul back into "its place."

But humanity depends on us now. There are so many many many more enlightened souls now... we really are in the majority no matter what the news shows us. And how else will we recognize each other?

To help me in my Soul Side Out endeavor, I made little reminder cards for myself.

 

I am placing them in my car, on my mirror, on my locker at work, on my husband's forehead... So when I am right-side-in I can be prompted to adjust. (Thank you, Melissa, for the stickers!!!!)

These are the Mock Ups for 2010!

I am so excited!

What are you wishin' for???

Namaste,

C H E Z