I have been an avid student and practitioner of the Tarot for over 20 years. Only my closest friends and family know this, just as they are the only ones who know of the years I have spent studying all things esoteric and doing clairvoyant readings.
I spend most of my life in a black and white world, (don't we all?), where we judge things only by what we see and what can be rationalized with our minds. It can be difficult to reveal intuitive insights, for fear of judgement and invalidation. Although mine have been known to "slip out" at inopportune times, it is something I have really tried to keep in the closet.
I don't read Tarot cards every day, or even every week for that matter. I use them as a tool. Some days, I can meditate and hear divine guidance as clearly as if God was whispering directly in my ear. And some days I need help. Contemplating a situation with Source and pulling cards, helps me see the energies around what is going on in my life.
It is so funny, and so "no duh", that I sat down this morning to do a reading about the choices I am making and something told me to check my growth journal.
I have kept a chart tracking the growth cards for every year since the year I was born and journaling the events around those years in my life. I haven't looked at that chart in 5 years.
But I listened to the suggestion, pulled out that chart, realized that 2013 is a "6" year for me. It is a year where my birth date and month and year add up to the number 6. 6 also happens to be my soul and personality number...I was born a 6.
Every 6 year has been a year when I have chosen to change the course of my life completely. They are huge transition and transformation years for me.
The Lovers card is the 6th card of the Major Arcana. It is the card that reflects what this year is about for me. The Lovers is about synthesis. The union of the divine in us with the divine in the universe. It is about combining the elements of head AND heart, intellect AND feeling. It is about making choices between security and a risk of some kind...or between the old and the new. It is about the freedom from bondage. It is about integrating ALL of who we are and not holding anything back anymore.
I'm kind of disappointed that I only realized this today because helps me understand what I have been going through this year--what all the trials and tribulations have been leading up to. But if I knew all this was coming, I would have been petrified and would have resisted it more.
Knowing this now, I can embrace the choices and changes I am making.
It was meant to be all along.