The past 2 years has been all about letting go for me.
Some of the lettings go have been a natural part of the life cycle.
I had to let go of my children as they became adults.
I had to let go of my youth as a new era started dawning on my face and body.
Some were shocking releases - torn from my heart.
I had to let go of some very strong belief systems about truth and justice always prevailing.
I had to let go of my dependency on financial security.
I am in the process letting go of my home.
I am in the process of letting go of the blueprint of what I thought my life was going to be.
As my journal expresses, I have never been good at letting go.
I stress myself trying to control situations... trying to keep the plot of my story going the way I planned.
When I lose... when I finally give up and let the Universe take it, I grieve and rage deeply.
I am tired.
The clinging is killing me.
I have been wondering if I can change. If I can let go and go with the flow. If I can detach from the outcome of EVERYTHING, and enjoy just living in the moment.
I feel better just thinking about it.
When I feel my gut cinching and my brain twisting into a tight grip, I have been gently reminding myself,
It is like floating. Catching a wind and gliding. And funny... In that space of no effort, miracles happen. Big, soul level dreams manifest, as they never could with all my bloody, sweaty, tearful, EFFORT.
C H E Z