The other day I went to pick up my daughter at school.
Mattea is a high school freshman.
When classes are dismissed a flood of students pour out of the gates. But finding Mattea is never a difficult task.
It's not that I recognize her head of brown ringlets.
It isn't that she is the only one wearing COLOR in a sea of gray and black.
It is her presence. She walks with a determined, enthusiastic bounce, head high, with an air of confidence. She is like a light in a black hole of teenage angst.
I see the spark walking in the crowd, look to see who it is and am always surprised that it is my daughter.
Her experiences in grade and middle school could have broke her spirit. Just a couple of years ago she was my chubby little girl, secretly taking $60 to school to bribe boys to stop calling her fat.
She was punched in the face by a jealous girl in 6th grade.
Her best friend in 8th grade started telling kids at school she had sex with someone when she didn't.
These types of things have the tendancy to crush fledgling female spirits trying to come into their own.
And I thank God, that Mattea has only continued to move forward with her passion and enthusiam, refusing to have these lesser elements diminish her.
Unfortunately, Mattea, has been having an issue at school.
One of her instructors has taken issue with her -- he thinks that she makes people feel "inferior" to her, because she has confidence and experience doing something that they never have.
All semester he has been belittling, and making demeaning comments toward Mattea... trying to dim her shine so everyone else, including himself, will feel more comfortable.
He tells her she needs to "be careful", because other students will think that she thinks she is "better than them".
When did our high school instructor's maturity level devolve to the age level of their students.
Her father and I got her removed from the class all together. I didn't want to wait and see if she could overcome adult male invalidation on her own.
And then I had a conversation with my daughter.
"Without acting superior than other people, or putting them down, continue to be the best that you can be for yourself."
"NEVER dim your light. Keep shining. Keep glowing up."
"If that makes people uncomfortable - that is THEIR problem. Fuck 'em."
That was her motherly advise for the day.
I did the page above while contemplating Mattea. I found myself proud of who she is becoming and how she is developing, despite the risks of rejection or humiliation.
I thought about the risks we all take every day when we choose to GLOW.
That bright light draws a lot of attention... dusty moths beating their wings against you. Despite the risks of rejection or abuse that may come our direction because of our light, we continue to shine. It is the only thing we know how to do anymore.
And when we find other shining lights in the world, we connect with kindred spirits and strengthen our shine ten-fold.
Keep Shining and
Namaste,
C H E Z
